"The Warnings"

Good morning! It is hopefully my last Monday morning at work for a while. Very exciting stuff!

We hope to hear today from our caseworker about what timeframe we are looking at for Thursday. I guess my mother's "intuition" that Colt was coming the week of Thanksgiving was off, but my football intuition stayed strong and my Oklahoma Sooners won the Bedlam Rivalry game and are now going to the Big 12 Championship! I'd been saying for a while I just knew Colt's first OU game would be the Big 12 Championship and I was right!!!

It's the little things that keep me from going absolutely crazy with anticipation and utter fear.

John and I were talking this weekend, just a little bit, about how crazy it is that in a matter of days we're going to be parents. It's so surreal, I can't even really comprehend it. Though John's pretty sure I'm stressed about everything as I'm totally breaking out and having major stomach issues...I process stress physically more than emotionally, I guess. I'm not a crier.

Anyway, one of the things we laughed about was all the things people have said to us over this process. Of course there are all the things people say when they don't know what's going on, that every person dealing with infertility has heard a million times. Lesson learned: don't ask people when they're going to have kids when you don't know their situation.

Of course there are things in passing we hear about adoption. Things like "I just don't understand how anybody could give their child away. I couldn't do it." Obviously it's not nearly as simple as it sounds. And we've become quite protective of N and her courage and sacrifices. It's truly the ultimate reflection of how deep her love runs.

But the things that have us laughing and rolling our eyes the most these days are "the warnings". It seems like when you're talking about having a baby, everyone is so supportive and excited..."oh, you're going to love it!" and "it's the most rewarding thing you'll ever do" and "you'll make great parents".

But the minute you announce you're actually having a baby (whether pregnant or after getting THE call) people turn very serious. Their eyes kind of get crazy, the smiles disappear. A haze comes over the room and their voices get very low. All of a sudden, "THE WARNINGS" begin.

"You'll never sleep again."
"You'll never eat out again."
"Don't buy any nice clothes because they will all be ruined by the baby."
"You'll never go on vacation again."
"You'll spend all your time inside your house."
"You'll never spend money on anything for yourself again."
"Well you can say goodbye to lazy Saturday mornings. You'll NEVER have those again."
"Your house will never be clean again."

You get the idea. After the serious warnings have been issued, the haze lifts, their faces return to normal from doom and gloom, and then they look around and give knowing glances to fellow parents in the room and everyone does a little cackle.

Um, where did all the happiness go? I mean, let's get real for a minute. First, how do the warnings ACTUALLY help me? Ok, I'll never sleep again. It's not like I haven't heard that from, oh, a MILLION people. Like everyone I know. So when someone says that, it's neither helpful nor new news. How can I possibly prepare myself, seriously, for the lack of sleep? Hey, how about I lay awake at night on my few remaining nights of sleep and worry about the lack of sleep to come. That sounds productive!

All of those things...there is no way to prepare for that until we're actually there. So, yet another lesson learned: encouraging, positive sayings to parents-to-be are the best. In most cases, they've been planning, waiting for, and anticipating their baby. Most of the time they're very aware that their life will change and sleep patterns will adjust. So I will not need to warn them.

Warnings that actually are helpful? Things about baby clothes sizes, or baby first aid, or baby diets, or product advice. Things that I might actually not know. But I can assure you...John and I have not spent the last three years wishing and hoping and thinking and praying about this baby without realizing the changes that will come. I promise we are as well-prepared for the lack of sleep as we can possibly be before we actually aren't sleeping.

But if you want to tell us how much we'll love it, how exciting it will be, how all the hard work is worth it to watch our child grow up healthy and happy...well, we'll take those warnings any day!

Gotta get back to work. Only 2 days left until I'm out for 8 weeks!