The Birth Story

First, I will start off by saying this post has been in my head and half-written for a week now. Any spare time I have is spent talking to our many visitors and sleeping. The computer is a lost friend!

But it's so important to tell you the birth story, specifically our experience in the hospital and meeting N. So many special moments...for all you moms out there waiting on your little one, I know how scary the hospital experience can seem. So I tell you this story in hopes it helps calm your fears.

I hope every adoptive family has an experience like ours. It was amazing. Here goes...it's a long one!

The Call
The morning of December 16th started out like any other, except extra cold and icy. As John got dressed for work, he made a passing comment about how he thought Colt would come today because the weather was so bad.

I was particularly angry this morning with N's doctor and the waiting and I got to work and began a long, ranting e-mail to Aimee and Ashley (fellow adoptive moms) who I knew would understand my irritation. About halfway through, my cell rings and it's T (our caseworker). Seeing her name, I just knew. She was excited to tell me that N was officially admitted, dilated to a 6 and had just received her epidural.

Then she told me we might have to wait to head out there because of the roads. Maybe until the next morning. I don't have to tell you all that the idea of our son being born, a mere 2 hours away, and waiting until the next morning to see him was pure torture.

I'll make this part short. Many blubbering phone calls and begging T ensued. During that time, T had been talking to N and telling her how desperately we wanted to be out there. And N asked her to give me her cell number. She wondered if I'd like to call.

I was terrified. So nervous. I had to eat and drink first, map out my discussion points, and then make the call. She answered and we said hello and I asked how she was doing. She was fine, and I said I so wanted to be there. Suddenly she said "oh, you sound so sweet". Like she was surprised. And I cried because she sounded sweet, too.

The conversation wasn't long, I promised I would be there as soon as I could. She said she understood, and to drive safely. She wanted ME to call her when we left so she'd know when to expect us.

The Drive
John got home, and by that time we'd convinced T to head out that afternoon. We decided to meet at the agency's office so we could follow each other and keep a lookout on each other. On our way to the office, I got a voicemail from N asking me to call. She sounded like she'd been crying.

When I called her back she said "I just wanted to be the first to tell you congratulations--you're a mom and dad!". It was around 90 minutes since I'd last spoken to her. Those words were words I have come to cherish with all my heart. That acknowledgement, that excitement for us...so precious.

I told her we were on our way and I couldn't wait to see her and the baby. John and I sat in silence for a while. Then we began making calls. We were parents. Colt was here, all 9 pounds, 7 ounces of him!

Meeting N
Arriving at the hospital, we followed T in and waited in the waiting room while she went to visit N. Soon, she came to get us and we headed toward her room. There was only one baby in the nursery at that time, getting cleaned up. We could see a head full of dark hair. My stomach fluttered as I passed realizing that was my first glimpse of Colt.

We walked into N's room to see an adorable tiny blond teenager, covering her face and apologizing for looking bad. Of course she didn't look bad, but I can only imagine what you must feel like after giving birth. She was so tiny. About 5'0 and later in the conversation we found out that her peak pregnancy weight when she checked in to give birth was 137. Before Colt was born. Tiny, and the thought of something his size coming out of her was puzzling.

Also in the room were her younger sister and her grandmother. They were all so nice, and so interested in us. When we walked in the room, Grandma looked right at John and said "the baby has a full head of hair like yours. He looks like you."

We chatted for a while, it was so much easier than I thought it would be. It felt very comfortable, and I attribute it totally to the phone calls shared earlier that day. N told us several times "I knew you were the ones when I read your profile. I just knew." She also mentioned that her connection point with John was that he said his favorite show was "Family Guy". Yikes!

Then, her grandmother handed us a bag and said they'd gotten us some things for the baby. My hand shook as I took it and I wanted to cry as I pulled out outfit after outfit, blanket after blanket realizing these were some of the most precious gifts I'd received.

Seeing Colt
John and I got checked into our hospital room after that. Thank goodness for T and our agency who worked everything out ahead of time. We were in the room right across the hall from N. We waited for a while and I suggested we go stare at the nursery. We stood at the window and watched this head of dark hair get wrapped up. The nurse waved us in and we hurried over to the side of the crib. All I could say was "Hi, Buddy" as we stared at his perfect body. Then the tears started and I had to step back.

N wanted to be the first to introduce us, so we snuck back out and into our room to wait on our "first meeting". Soon, T came to get us and we went into N's room where she was holding him. She handed him to me and I was unprepared for his weight! We snuggled for a moment before John couldn't stand it anymore and asked to hold him.

We talked a little more with N, and she said she was desperate for a shower and to get some sleep. She'd been laboring since Monday afternoon and was exhausted. We moved the baby to our room, and were left alone. And so, we sat. We sat and stared at him, not sure what to say or what to do next. It was absolutely overwhelming, the gravity of it all.

The Nurses
We had prepared ourselves for just about anything with the hospital. But mostly we'd prepared ourselves for a staff that was not adoption friendly. I don't know why, maybe it was because it was such a small town, but we assumed they would be hostile or not understand. Boy, were we wrong.

Every single nurse and staff member we came in contact with was unbelievably supportive and friendly. Many had questions for us, one even shared her infertility struggles and I truly hope she was inspired by our adoption experience. They came in and answered countless silly questions, showed us how to burp, invited us to wrap presents with them when we couldn't sleep at 3 a.m. They were unbelievably nice, and spoke very highly of N as well.

At around 8:00 a nurse came in and said N wanted to see the baby. Since he was technically hers, she had the say of where he went and when. But we welcomed the break for dinner and sent him away. I think her dad had come to pick up her sister, so it was a chance for him to see the baby one more time.

Around 4 a.m. they came to get us (knowing we were awake) and showed us how to give him a bath. They laughed and joked with us, we were sad to see the night crew end.

The day shift was wonderful, too. And continued to check on us even during a 4-hour stint where Colt was getting his circumcision and spending time with N. We tried to sleep, it didn't happen. Then the nurses brought us a "New Mother's Dinner" that they serve every new family. We had our choice of steak, chicken, or salmon with baked potatoes and cheesecake. When it arrived at noon, we scarfed it down. N got a special lunch as well, and during this time Colt was with her.

Saying Goodbye
Around 1:00, just about 24 hours from his birth, N and her grandmother appeared in our room with Colt. She was checking out. We all stood somewhat awkwardly for a moment before her grandmother broke down and began to cry. She told us what a good boy he would be for us, asked us to take care of him. And she kept saying thank you.

We hugged her tight, promised to send pictures, hugged her again and then turned to N. I looked at her and all I could say was "We won't let you down. I promise, we won't let you down. Thank you." She nodded, we hugged and they left.

T walked them out and I hugged on John while I cried. A sense of relief and pain all in one. N didn't cry, but then she's not a crier. She processes things internally most of the time. And she was ready to go. Ready to move on. So I cried for her.

Leaving
They took Colt for his newborn pictures, then walked us to the front door. The nurses were so sweet as we left, wishing us good luck and once again commenting on Colt's size. We nervously buckled him in the car, hugged T and drove home. Colt didn't wake or cry the entire time.
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Obviously we've had some scary moments since then. We still have another week before N officially appears in court to relinquish her rights. And then it may be another month before the birth father's rights are relinquished (which is always a worry, but nothing we stress over). But after one night at home, feeding him and talking to him about everything from OU football to all the DVR we'll watch to naming off his new friends...well, it seems like he's always been here.

Ask me in a week how I feel about our overall experience. I imagine I'll feel the same as I do now. It was very smooth, probably a little too quick and easy than normal. And it was amazing and perfect in so many ways.

It sounds cliche, but it's true: every second of the last three years has been worth it. Every negative home pregnancy test, every trip to the doctor, every medication taken, every page on that homestudy, every tear...worth it. If it would get me the same result as what's swaddled and sleeping in our living room right now...I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

The waiting sucks. Sucks, sucks, sucks and I never want to do that again. But it WILL make sense. It DOES make sense. Any earlier or any later and the baby we would have wouldn't be Colt. Just like the perfect miracle of pregnancy, God is at work with adoption too. Every second planned.

So that, my friends, is our birth story.