Just a moment

Here I am, 10 days into Colt's life and finally a brief moment where there are no family or friends visiting, Colt is soundly asleep in his crib for the first time, and there is peace. I've got one very confused and concerned kitty in my lap, glad to have some time with her mom without that noisy, squirmy thing.

He is changing every day. Since the jaundice lifted, he is so alert. He's incredibly active, always moving his arms and legs and rolling his head from side-to-side to look around. He loves his car seat, LOVES being swaddled, loves laying propped up in the boppy.

He hates being changed, hates being naked, hates being hungry. We had our first stroller experience today and while he slept through Best Buy, I pushed my luck with Target and sheepishly strolled a howling baby back through the store and sat in my car to feed him.

We went to an audiologist to have his hearing checked because they couldn't get an accurate test at the hospital. He was so perfect during the test, and his hearing is in perfect condition.

We have been peed on quite a few times, each time learning more and more how to change the diaper a little better. John got pooped on once...but in all fairness it was during the jaundice spell when Colt was pooping like a mad man.

He makes such fun faces and his noises are heavenly. Every burp receives praise, every toot brings a giggle from mom and dad. Every dirty diaper assures us things are normal so we get excited. Yesterday his eye was goopy and clogged but thankfully we've got Dr. Laura (my good friend and roommate in college) who is a calm and brilliant pediatrician and doesn't mind taking calls on Christmas day!

I am so tired, as I expected. And I'll be honest, I'm not always gracious about it. While I do know that I waited and waited and asked for this, I'm a new mom like any other and I have earned the right to complain a little! But as soon as I get frustrated or upset, Colt sighs and looks at me for a solid 15 seconds and I tell him I'm sorry and smother him in kisses.

Sleep deprivation is getting the best of me. I went shopping Christmas Eve by myself and managed to run into a car AND my own garage door before finally making it back into the house. I don't even know how the car thing happened, though the garage door was an honest mistake.

We have 4 more days until N goes to court. Tonight I'm starting to pull together pictures to have printed for her. Tomorrow I'll go gift shopping and begin her letter. By Monday I'll have the package together for T to give her after she officially entrusts her son to us. I have so many thoughts about the letter I want to write her, things that pop in my head while I'm in the shower or up at night with Colt. I think I'll spend most of my time telling her about him. She already knows about my feelings, I want to tell her how amazing this little boy is.

That's all for now. Still don't feel like this is real, but it is feeling pretty good.