The Seminar

We are officially "seminared". What a weekend!

First of all, it was not nearly as scary as I thought it would be. We were already well-prepared, thanks to all our friends who have been through the adoption process and thanks to my general tendency to be obsessive-compulsive in researching.

Second of all, it was not overwhelming. It was, however, emotional. Particularly talking about and to the birthmothers. I won't have the experience of giving birth, but I don't think you have to have that experience to understand the biological pull or the heartbreaking decision it would be to give up your baby.

It feels like so much of the media and the things we know about birthmothers often makes them seem like the enemy. One of the main reasons we chose this particular agency was because the support, counseling, and love they offer birthmothers is extensive. They are very protective of these women, and really encourage respect and love for them from the adoptive families.

Open adoption was a huge theme. The benefits of having an open adoption was more than apparent when talking to birthmothers, adoptees, and adoptive families. I loved that they brought in panels of each of these groups and we could hear stories and ask them questions. Friday night was the birthmother panel and it was so emotional. I felt exhausted and my heart ached after we left...but at the same time the women that were there spoke SO highly of the families they chose for their children and how all they wanted was for their children to be happy.

So many fears and questions were laid to rest. I know every, single adoption is different. Just like every single birth is different. Every family is different, every child is different and that's ok!

One of the other things that really affected me was meeting the others in our class. There were 9 couples in total, one of whom has already been matched (outside of the agency and are using the agency's services for finalization). We were probably the youngest in the group, and it didn't take me long to realize that our 2 1/2 years of trying to have a baby was minuscule to the others. Most had been trying for 7, 9, 15, 20 years even to have a baby.

How thankful I am that we realized so early that adoption is our calling! How thankful I am that God has led us to this decision, that we recognize our family will be made in a different way. I'm not sure we could survive 20 years of trying to have a baby to no avail.

I'm thankful that I grew up with such a healthy idea of adoption, that it's always seemed natural. I'm thankful that I met a man that wants a family so much he's willing to do whatever it takes to get there. I'm thankful we have a supportive family and friends, because not everyone has that. I'm thankful this path has been made so clear for us.

So...do I feel overwhelmed? No. Do I feel sad or scared? No. Mostly I am excited. I'm still very cautious. And I'm so, so thankful.

And so our paper pregnancy begins. I'm working on gathering documents we need copies of, and our homestudy packet will be arriving this week. Oh, yeah! I almost forgot the good news! Our fingerprints came back on Thursday, 100% approved! So that knocks 8 weeks off our approval process! A step in the right direction!!

Phew...that's all I've got for now. But I probably will update more later.