Next Steps

Many have been asking about next steps. What's coming up next?

In a quick rundown, here's what you can expect to hear about in the coming weeks and months:

- Homestudy packet should arrive this week. This is the packet requiring more paperwork than buying a home!
- It will take us several weeks to complete. Not having seen it yet, here are some of the things I know will take time to complete: wellness check-up and medical history, financial statement, lots and lots of essay questions about our background and childhoods and philosophies on parenthood.
- On a sidenote, because we've already been cleared with our background check and fingerprint check, it does put us ahead of schedule!
- We turn in the massive paperwork and the homestudy report begins
- References are contacted with a request for their letters (agency does this exclusively, we are removed from this situation other than naming the references)
- Once those are received, our individual interviews will be scheduled (so, references get those letters in ASAP!)
- Then we have a final joint interview in our home
- Then it takes on average of about 2 weeks to finish writing up our homestudy report, a 12-13 page single-spaced document that tells everything they know about us.
- We are then activated as approved and waiting, and are eligible to be shown to birthmothers that fit our preferences and that we would be a good match for
- She will see "black and white" portfolios first, our application and answers to the essay questions
- She will then narrow her search down and make a request to see the portfolio books with pictures
- If she chooses us, we'll get the call!
- Hopefully we will get to meet her, spend time with her, get to know her. Hopefully it will be early enough we can go to doctor appointments (if she's comfortable with that)
- During this time, the agency will be working on terminating birthfather rights
- The hospital: no experience is the same! We will hopefully be in a hospital that is adoption-friendly, and ideally we would have our own room just like if we were giving birth. They could be very difficult days, as the birthmother has every right to keep the baby with her the entire hospital stay. I'm already praying for strength for this time, even though we could be years away. But it's important for her closure to have that time if she wants it.
- We'll bring the baby home after the customary 2-3 days.
- We'll be caring for the baby for an average of 10 days before the birthmother goes to court to have her rights terminated permanently. I'm also praying for strength during this time as she can change her mind at any time.
- Once her rights are terminated, the baby is placed in the custody of the agency. We will parent the child for the agency for the first 6 months, and then we'll go to court to have everything finalized.
- We will then receive an amended birth certificate with us listed as the parents!

Wow...sounds like A LOT. And I thought it was overwhelming, but the more I become familiar with it, the more comfort I receive. It is NOT going to be easy. Neither is pregnancy! But the end result in both cases is so worth it.

Strength and patience seem to top my prayers these days. And I pray for comfort and strength for women considering an adoption plan, because my heart seems to ache for them the more I think about it. I'm praying not only for our baby's birthmother, but all of them. They need as much comfort and strength as we do!

So, there you go...I'll keep you updated with where we are in the process. I'm telling myself not to get excited, because we could very well be waiting for a year...maybe two. But the paperwork is NOW and I can get excited about that!