Sometimes you just have to say it

Sometimes we take an opportunity like anniversaries, or birthdays, or other holidays to honor those we love. And I'll admit I'm pretty terrible at the whole thing. I'm an awful gift-giver, I forget to buy cards, sometimes even forget to call.

Usually the best way I can honor someone is when I think of them for no other reason than a passing thought, a song lyric I hear in the car, the sound of their voice. And then I write about them.

I have spent a lot of time on this blog talking about MY feelings and how I feel. And really there are so many people who in this with me. Not the least of which is my partner, the other half of my heart--my husband.

Yesterday I thought about him A LOT. He had a big presentation at work, meeting some big wigs, spending some time networking. He was a little nervous. Ok, so the presentation thing kind of threw him for a loop and he was very nervous.

What I should have done was get him a card, drop a note in his bag, fix him breakfast. But instead, I just thought about him. I was on the road before he even got out of bed, so I woke him up before I left to kiss him and tell him good luck. I texted him later. Checked my phone all day for messages to see how it went.

It went so well, as I knew it would. He was happy at the end of the day with his performance and I spent the day reflecting about how much I love that man. I talk a lot about how funny he is. He is SO funny. Goofy, not a serious person at all. He makes me smile a thousand times a day. I know that in 50 years when we're old and gray and crotchety if I can still be smiling and rolling my eyes at his fart jokes...well, then I'm one very blessed lady.

He gives the best hugs. He is a big guy, tall and strong and cuddly (though he's rapidly losing some of that weight, he still gives great hugs). He never hesitates to do anything that will make me feel good. Each night he kisses me before bed, even if it's just a very quick, sleepy pass by. He always drives when we're out (I hate to drive). He's fiercely loyal to his friends. He fixes things for his mom. He runs around with his dad.

He mows the lawn. He buys groceries. He always cooks (I hate to cook). He goes along with my every whim. He prays with me (though not as often as we should). He is kind and sensitive and works very, very hard. He's professional, a valued leader at work. He's my best friend.

He understands me, doesn't judge me, loves me for every flaw that I am.

He'll make an amazing father, and I'm most grateful for his acceptance of our situation. I'm grateful he chose me to be his forever. I'm grateful he didn't walk away when things didn't go as planned. There is no one I would rather have a baby with, however we may have one. There is no one I'd rather spend the rest of my life with.

I don't take the time to really reflect on how much I love him, I take him for granted, and I'm a lousy excuse for a thoughtful person. But I love him. And humbled that he loves me.

I love you, John!